Networking in Fear

Forest Gump

I take a deep breath and step inside the room. People are clustered everywhere chatting, laughing, hahaha. Who do I know? No, I’m here to make new contacts. Hmm, drinks in the corner, I’ll work my way over there and hope like hell someone approaches me. How long before I can slip away?

This was how I used to feel going into a new environment and is certainly how many students feel when we put the ‘N’ word to them; networking!

It is easy to underestimate the courage needed to step into a room and network, although it is something I am continually encouraging students and graduates to do to expand their job seeking beyond hiding behind a computer screen.

At one level networking is simply doing what we already do; recommending someone for something. It is about asking an aunty, brother, friend, fellow church-goer whether they know of possible job openings, or whether they have an aunty, brother, friend or fellow church-goer within their circles of acquaintances that might. I got my first paid career counseling job after chatting to a career counselor at a function. I regularly get writing jobs through work colleagues of friends.Like others, I enjoy helping people out.So far so good!

But it can become stressful pushing networking to the next level by attending an event, workshop or seminar with the deliberate intention of making contacts. Sure, I’m an outgoing person and find it easy enough to start up conversation. But I used to feel really uncomfortable foisting my business card onto someone who is not asking for it. In fact I’d bend over backwards to avoid doing that, which is crazy in itself.

To stop feeling hypocritical encouraging students and graduates to network, I went asking experts for advice on how to improve my own networking.

Here is what I learned.

  1. Give and take

    Approach networking as a give and take, not a take-take, look-at-me, look-at-me scenario. Think of it as building relationships with people, rather than trying to bleed them dry of their ideas and contacts in the first meeting.

  2. Make personal connections

    One businessperson nailed it for me when he described his struggle with networking as an introvert. He overcame his natural reticence when he realized the people he remembered most  were those that interested him beyond what they did or sold. Lesson learned – ask questions that lead to a decent chat and then genuinely listen! You could as about a recent seminar, new piece of technology, a book, a sports game… Taking that advice has certainly made it easier for me to network with new people.

  3. Farm, don’t hunt

    Networking gurus talk about two types of networking; hunting and farming. The hunter roves the room handing out business cards, inveigling themselves into conversations, using social events to promote themselves. The farmer plows the field (gets known), plants the seed (gains acceptance) and reaps the crop (gains from a relationship that involves giving and taking). Although I’m not sure about the dirty fingernails, I’d rather grow networks than trap people into a corner.

  4. Online options

    These days it is not just standard farming either! Huge online communities interact through social media – from professional networking websites like LinkedIn to social networking sites like FaceBook, Instagram and Twitter. These sites are the 21st century version of aunty, brother, friend and fellow church-goers, but they cross the globe!  Is online providing the way to finally network without having to front up in the flesh? I see it as another farming tool, and an extremely valuable one if you have your brain in gear when you’re online.

  5. Smart cyber farming
  6. So how do you ‘farm’ smartly in cyber space? According to internet business gurus, you need to remember the following; have something interesting to say, don’t send out unsolicited messages and think carefully about how you want to present yourself. Really this is not dissimilar to face-to-face networking, except no one can see your red face as you drop a clanger or hear your cellphone ping at an inappropriate moment.

But cyber networking requires another kind of smarts. Posts can linger in an embarrassing way. I have shaken my head with disbelief as graduates moan on Facebook about a manager or a boring job or skite about taking a ‘sick’ day. Such candour can lead to unfortunate consequences if you have opened your social media up to your work colleagues – and who doesn’t? Or rant on Twitter. While it may work for Donald Trump, it is less likely to work for us!

Network-farming through social media can bring great rewards – but it can be hard to see how someone is responding when you reach out. Social media doesn’t replace good old fashioned face-to-face networking, but it does expand your options and is often a great way to follow up after a quick chat at a workshop or event.

What we all have to remember is, no matter what type of networking, the approach is still the same; to farm, not hunt.

by Angela McCarthy, career specialist/writer